What If You Knew No One Would Judge You? 🤔
"Would you mind if I see the cockpit?"👨🏽✈️
Let's play a little game called "What If?" The more you ask...the easier it gets.
NEW YORK, N.Y. -- What ifffff, you were a guy...you walked down the hall in a dress and no one took a photo, made fun of you, asked "What the --," or likely well-intentioned said, "Oh my gosh I'm so proud...look at you making a STATEMENT."? You'd probably do it again. You'd probably feel really empowered. In her book, You Are A Bad*** Jen Sincero writes "What other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them."
“What other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.”
Have you ever witnessed truer words on a page?
Then why do we allow what people say to dictate how we live? I've got an answer: fear. Yes, we're simultaneously smartypants and scaredy-cats. We know exactly what to do - whatever it is we want (duh! 🙇🏽♂️)- but boyyyyyyy we're freaking out inside.
I once watched a MarieTV episode with the author of Eat, Pray, Love; Elizabeth Gilbert. She said here's what you say to fear: "Thank you so much, for how much you care about me and how much you don't wan't anything bad to happen to me. I really appreciate that. Your services are probably not needed here because I'm just writing a poem. No one's gonna die. It's okay."
“Thank you so much, for how much you care about me and how much you don’t wan’t anything bad to happen to me. Your services are probably not needed here because I’m just writing a poem. ”
A poem is so simple. Yet, even when we're curled up in bed and it's midnight and we've got the book, the pen, and the idea; fear stops us in our tracks. It stops us from befriending the three. And although this may seem like a TOTALLY different thing from a guy wearing a dress....it's not. Seriously -- ask yourself "Why is it a big deal?"
Say it: society made it a big deal. Knowing the people around us could unleash their untamed opinions on our outfits gives us pause. Knowing they could find our journals and diaries, open them, and expose them to contagious, poisoned, unseasoned and unflattering thoughts tells us to do everything but start.
When I went to Good Morning America recently I felt a surge of confidence. I gave myself time to briefly tell Robin Roberts I enjoyed her podcast interview with my mentor, Rebecca Jarvis. I took the time because as a committed journalism student who has visited the show three times -- I deserved it! Slowly I'm understanding that although it matters what a star in this field thinks of me...if I don't just go for it...she won't get to judge me for the right thing.
She won't get to say "WOW, that kid had such kind words!" Instead, I've automatically denied myself the opportunity to have her think highly of me. Just as you have if you say no to yourself for writing the poem...or wearing the dress. Why not say "No." to the negative thoughts? Why not tell them to *expletive* off?! Aren't you the one that matters? I think so, I really do and in this very short life I believe it is up to you to start saying yes to you.
Thank you for reading.
With ❤️ and gratitude,
Malick